The Land of Enchantment

Little did I know after I wrote my last blog what was in store for me.  I moved to Alamogordo, New Mexico at the end of July.  The only thing "enchanting" about this state is that Trey is here haha and ok, ok, and the mountains aren't too shabby either.=)  For those of you that know me I don't like to mess around.  I am very straight-forward and am a no nonsense kinda girl.  I don't like to waste time when it comes to relationships and especially now that I am 28  years old (yikes!) I especially feel like I have no time to waste.  Trey and I had been in a relationship for about 4 months when I decided that the right thing to do was to move to New Mexico.  Our relationship had been long distance the entire time and I wanted to see if we could even tolerate much less enjoy living in the same town and seeing each other daily rather than the every other weekend thing we had been doing.  I was in a 5 year relationship before and I didn't want to go another 5 years before I knew if we were right for each other and if this was going to work for the long haul. 

So.............since it was easier for me to pick up my life than Trey (because he had just purchased a house in Alamogordo) I quit my job in Comanche, packed my dodge, and headed west.  It was hard moving so far from my family, friends and everything I've known but I felt the Lord calling me to Alamogordo for this season to see where things would go with Trey.  I have a job currently working for the city in the Public Housing and I'm really enjoying it.  I love the staff I work with and there is NEVER a dull moment as far as our tenants are concerned!  I went for about a month without a job and boy is it nice to have an income again! 

I am loving spending time with Trey and getting to know more and more about each other.  He really brings joy to my heart and I am falling in love with him more and more everyday.  He is such a mess (in a good way), but is also one of the sweetest and kind men I've ever known.  He is so supportive and loving to me, treats me impeccably well and makes me laugh more times than not and I just really enjoy his companionship.  He makes me feel like myself again and I just really feel at home when I am with him.  We are so alike but also have our differences.  I feel so lucky to be his girlfriend and that the Lord has allowed our lives to be intertwined. 

I am hopeful for our future and even though I am FAR, FAR, away from home I am glad to not have to commute to see each other anymore! 

I am grateful the Lord has helped me transition easily and of course I am anxious to return to Texas when it's time=), but I will choose to take things as they come and be patient because God is in control!

Feel free to come and visit!

How "sure" are things?

Whenever I have something running through my mind on a constant basis, writing has always been my "go-to" when dealing with it.  I guess I'm the kind of person that has to voice/write out things so that I feel they are being released.  We all think about things that we NEVER share or speak out loud but there's just something about putting it in writing (or blogging) that seems to bring some sort of relief or sense of clarity to the situation or circumstance. 

I am 110% an over-thinker.  I seem to have developed this "knack" over the years and it is one that I really wish I hadn't developed as I've gotten older.  I guess I am more careful of my choices in life because I know that a lot of times we only get ONE chance or some small choice can be pivotal in what road you take in life.  This has been the key to my over-thinking as well as my tendency to want to be in control or oh so stupidly thinking I am in control. 

Relationships seem to be the biggest area where my over-thinking has blow up in FULL FORCE lately.  I won't lie I have had few compared to most people my age but nonetheless I take being in one and all that goes with it seriously.  Relationships in society have changed DRASTICALLY  over the years and it is really sad to see what they have become.  I have been through many ups and downs in the relationships that I have had, even though I would wish to change some things about them, at the same time I wouldn't change them either, because I know they have brought me to the place I am now.  I have had the good, bad, ugly, and really ugly as far as my past goes.  I've experienced love, fun, hate, hurt, deep hurt, betrayal, surprise, pain, dishonesty, laughter, joy, tears (many tears=) and the list goes on and on.  I don't understand why some things happened how they did or why they didn't work out but I have to rest in the fact that God had a plan in the pain as well as the good times and nothing will thwart his plans from succeeding.  He has taught me how I want to be loved and cared for and how I DON'T.  He's actually taught me a lot about myself and my insecurities as well as my strengths.  Places that I have and do struggle in are in giving up.  I am NOT good at it! Sometimes I feel like Lot's wife looking back on Sodom and Gomorrah, when God tells them not to look back.  I feel like looking back at my past turns me to stone just like it did her when she looked back.  I am afraid of making the wrong choice and sometimes by moving on I feel like I'm leaving something behind something that I should wait for, especially when you love that something.  I want to make the right choice and I wish that God would just not give us a choice in certain things that he would just say, "here this is the way it's going to be, this is the person I have for you." I think it would be easier that way, haha.  Unfortunately, and fortunately God gives us choices.  I guess trust and faith wouldn't be what they are if there wasn't any risk or unknowns involved.  It's funny how you can be so sure about something your entire life and then BAM you're thrown for a loop.  I have to remind myself CONSTANTLY that God already knows the ending to my story and has it all in control and I should relax because he has good things for me!

I have to consciously make the choice to CHOOSE to trust the Lord to lead me along HIS path of life for me.  He's writing my story and by being so darn worrisome I am stealing the joy of trusting Him and his plan for me.  I pray for wisdom and discernment in my choices daily and know the Lord will provide if I'll be still and listen.  Bottom line is, He loves me and has immensely better plans that greatly exceed any my little brain can conjure up=).  I will stop trying to figure it out and relax, and enjoy the ride. The Lord is good and his love endures F O R E V E R! What more do I need to know?!

p.s. I should have become a nun;)

Live, Laugh, and Let Go,
~Charity

Out with the old in with the new!

I am a bit late on this post and really haven't written in a while quite frankly, but none the less here we go... I think it is always a good thing to sit down and write out the past years happenings a) to bring things into perspective and b) to in a way purge myself from the past in order to move on to what's next.

This past year of my life has been a struggle for me to say the least.  There were definite blessings, some in disguise:) but it was a hard year.  I broke up with the love of my life and man I thought I would spend forever with which was one of the most difficult things to do. I am a fighter to my core and walking away from the hopes and dreams I had with that individual was not the norm for me but I knew I could not ignore what the Lord was calling me to do even though my heart was literally dying inside but I knew my Savior knows best even when my earthly body and mind want to rebel. 

I moved to Comanche, TX, aka middle of nowhere Texas to help start and run a retail/garden center/fresh produce store which is where I am currently.  The Lord allowed me to rest, recooperate and be in a place where he could have my undivided attention to work and repair my badly broken heart and spirit! Living out in the country and getting a taste of country life that I haven't gotten to enjoy since my Grandparents have died was just the medicine I needed. I am FULLY convinced the country is good for the soul and always want it in my life! My job allowed me to earn a living and be able to travel and study for my ever irritating teacher certification test that I had been needing to get passed in order to teach.  My Uncle and Aunt were so gracious to let me live in the house next door to them to have my own little space as well.  The Lord has grown me as I have been in Comanche probably more than ever and taught me what it is to truly be still and listen to His voice and I am BEYOND grateful for his guiding me along His path for my life. 

There have been more loves and heartbreaks throughout the year and he has manuvered me
strategically through them.  I have been blessed to have been reconnected with friends that are so dear to my heart and because of moves or whatever reasons just lost touch over the years . That has been one of the biggest blessings this year by far! I am ashamed that I have neglected such wonderful friendships for all this time but it is just a great reminder of God's love and mercy to me.  I will not let that happen again! I am so lucky to have the kind of deep friendships that I can not see these people for 10 or so years and then be able to essentially pick up right where we left off as if no time has passed. Now THAT is truly a rare thing in this world!  I also became an Auntie which has been incredible. Abigail Morgan Moss is without a doubt the cutest little girl and yes I'm biased;).

I FINALLY passed my History 8-12 content test (insert fist pump) and was also able take the Ec-6th elementary test to be certified in that as well so my options seem to be WIDE open as far as teaching in the fall.  I hope to find a job at the elementary level..


I feel like I have he chance to do and go anywhere for the first time in my life and that is a really weird feeling for me.  It's like I have a clean fresh slate on which to do whatever in a sense or to allow the Lord to do whatever with me. I have no attachments obligations other than my family which I love being near dearly but I know I could if I had to, or the Lord called me, live away from them.  I am waiting with great anticipation to see where and what the Lord will call me to... I am a bit of a planner so this is a new thing not knowing what will happen next! I feel renewed and ready (fingers crossed) for this next chapter of life.  I don't know yet what 2013 will bring in this fleeting life on earth but I am sure of one thing my God, Savior, friend and provider is in control and will guide and lead me as I trust him! What a comforting and wonderful thing to know!  I am ready to live what I have left of this life with no regrets, much love and a passion to live, love, show grace and mercy, forgive and serve by His example! 

I pray the new year finds each of you reading this well and that you will commit this new year to Him and his Glory!

Prayerfully waiting and watching!
-Charity